falling apart

now i guess distance has defeated me. i know before this i did mention that distance is just numbers, what matters is what we feel inside. but i guess in this case distance changes everything. i'm not trying to blame anyone. heck, i think i blame myself. sometimes i think i should be more understanding, and maybe things won't be this way. but then again, i always believe that things happen for a reason. i am thinking positive about this situation. there's nothing else i could do but to think positive, and move on. yeah, move on.

one part of me wishes the all the pics couldn't be recovered. maybe with that, it would help. but some part of me was glad that someone managed to recover all the pics, as much as it hurts to look at, but there'll always be sweet sweet memories behind all those pics.

am i happy? am not sure about that. am i sad? yes, i am. am i angry? yes i am too. all these feelings are jumbled up inside of me, resulting in a very messy putri. i'm just glad i took friday off, going back to the only person that matters the most, going back to the only person who i know loves me so much and gives me the strength i need to face this; my mom.

dear syahir,
thank you for this 3 years. for everything that you've done to me, for every money you've spend on me. for being part of my family. for introducing me to your family. everything. i guess words could never thank you enough. i'm gonna miss your family so much, especially your dad. i really look up to him, and you're lucky to have someone like him as your father. but to tell you the truth, no one can make me feel like how you make me feel. and i'll never be happy like how you make me happy. and i'm gonna miss you too.