why is it that one thing that you tried so hard to hold on to ended up slipping away from you?

on hiatus.

don't have the mood to blog about anything.

will probably update when i'm in pd.

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!

two o o seven

two zero zero seven.

what a year it has been.

it started off perfectly, celebrating it with the boyfriend. we watched fireworks at the curve. :)
and now, its almost the end of 2007. don't you think time flies so fast this year? but nevertheless, this is definitely one of the greatest year.

let's see.

first, there's the surprise trip to genting highlands for boyz II men. yup! the boyfie surprised me with the tickets and although i was a bit sick, i think i had fever but that does not stop me from enjoying myself there. we had lotsa fun there. singing along with the boyz II men, singing love songs to each other. heee! and next, there's also the muse concert. i'm glad that we managed to find tickets for me. or else, it would be syahir alone. :( and i loved it! thanks to azrin. :)

there's also the trip to genting highlands with his friends. which is quite fun although mcm tak berbaloi je. pay so much but ended up with 3 hours ride je. pfft. but it was fun alright.

what else ey. the love life was okay. i remember we broke up for a while this year, due to a certain stupid human being. pfft. such a jackass. i could no longer see him the same way after this. and i pity his gf. i really do. but i'm glad we managed to put that aside and get back together. though there has been fights and everything, but it's all good.

and studies wise, i was in my third year and had to do a project with a group of friends. it was hectic. definitely. and last semester too, we had to design an equipment each and present it to the lecturer and also to the outside examiner. but alhamdulillah, we did quite well. and the results i obtained for the last semester was definitely a surprise. and it was a good way to end the year. :)

this year also, i learn on how to be independent. as most of you know, the boyfie decided to go oversea and leave me here. :( but i guess, this is a good way to test the both of us. although the distance and the time difference sucks, but alhamdulillah it is going well. and yes, there are fights too. but nothing we couldn't handle. kan sayang? and i miss you so much.

this is also the year where i lost a friendship i had since matrix, and where we get closer when we get the same course at the same university. i had seen it coming. but never thought it could end this way. definitely a pity. she is smart but at the same time, stupid. how can that be? sigh

and the family? same old thing. the second brother finally gets his license and bought a car. and i on the other hand am definitely looking forward to get my own license and most importantly, buy my own car. :) weeee!

next week. a new year will come. and i have to get used to write 2008 instead of 2007. hehe. and i'm looking forward to it. :)

practical at one of the most prestigious oil and gas company. (haha, cheh!)

sayang's coming back in either jun/july. yeay! insyallah.

accompanied with holidays with the boyfie to somewhere. hopefully jadi.

working. sigh. huge responsibility.

graduation! the 4 years of studying is so tiring, but nevertheless fun fun experience.

so i hope this new year will be a good year for me, and us and also both our families. and not to forget, for you too, whoever you are. :)

random.

#1. i want baskin robbins baseball nut. yummy!

#2. i am a bit pening with the overly scented shampoo. haha.

#3. dahiku benjol.

#4. its raining heavily now. pfft.

#5. another week before i left. :(

#6. and also, i want chocolate chip frap from starbucks. i miss miss it!

#7. and i also miss getting sms's from a certain someone saying that he's outside.

#8. and the talks we had; outside or inside the house.

they say that in order to love others, you gotta love yourself first. but how am i suppose to love myself? is it by screaming at the top of my lungs that i love myself, or maybe post a shoutout in friendster? haha. (hint hint.) people can just easily say that they love themselves. but what do they mean actually? do they mean that they love the way they look? or maybe the way they behave? or both maybe. i don't know.

i just don't know.


p/s why do love makes people go crazy?

for once,


i wish to be the important person.

i'm going to pd again, either this saturday or sunday. picnic with the family. seriously, there'll be like tent, foods and all. haha. dieorg la excited lebih. my main intention is to check out the house je. honest! hihi. and buy the super duper cheap jellies and sweets.

lagi sebulan! sigh. tanak tinggalkan kl pls. haha. poyo je i know.

//editted.

due to unforeseen circumstances, i won't be renting a room with the 2 girls. haha. but, will be renting a room at pd perdana. she's an engineer i think. living alone. from kl, kepong specifically. haha. apartment ok. which means ada swimming pool. so pls guys, datang la pd. haha. pfft. how much i have to pay have yet to be determined. but i think below rm200, which is quite ok. she said that the apartment has guards, hmm. so safety takda hal la. and she doesn't mind me tagging along to work. yeay la kan. thats the most important thing pun. =)

pening pening!

in a few weeks i'll be off to pd. and being the internet freak that i am, i need internet to obviously "be" with the boyfriend and keep in touch with friends, so i thought of getting either the maxis or celcom broadband. since i'm a maxis user, i thought of getting maxis, but unfortunately, there's no coverage in pd for maxis. and remember a few weeks ago i went to pd? we saw a billboard for celcom broadband there, so i just assumed that celcom actually covers pd. i have yet to go to celcom centre and ask them. but i've done my research.

so all i need is
1. laptop
2. usb modem/ data card/ 3g phone
3. celcom line. sucks!

so the usb modem is damn expensive, retailing for around RM 1000+; so definitely out of the question. it seems that the data card is not so expensive as the usb modem, but a bit slower though its not as slow as if we use 3g phone as the modem. i don't think i'll be using my phone as the modem, since mesti kene charge right. and i'm so not gonna use the celcom line la kan. if not i have to terminate my prepaid la kut. or give it to syahir. haha. anyway, i think i'll go for the data card kut. hopefully its not expensive. i mean, like a few hundreds maybe ok lagi. if more than RM 300-500, then i'll have to think twice la kut. tak pun, busuk2 install streamyx je kat sana. haha. pening pening.

i've just messaged fai just now. so i'll be going to celcom centre this thursday. i need someone with the computer stuff knowledge so that i won't look dumb there. haha. thanks fai and good luck exam! and lets just hope pd is one of the 3g coverage area. amin!

hello everyone.

:)

updates.

so i found a room to stay in pd. i'll be renting a room with these 2 girls who are working in shell. they just moved to a new house which are quite far from the refinery, but they say that it shouldn't be a problem for me since i can tumpang them. but in a way, i was hoping to get a house like somewhere near the place but i guess takde rezeki. this will do. :)

i just found out my results for last semester. alhamdulillah i pass. :) berkat doa my mom. haha, coz i think i main banyak last semester, dgn ponteng class lagi. but alhamdulillah. its all good. :))

i'm really really happy tonight. :) and missing the other half badly. wish i could call him up. but no credit. :(

innalillahi wainnalillahi rajiun

my nenek sedara (i'm not really sure who she is, was to me actually). but she was definitely one of the oldest, whom i can consider as grandmother since mine passed away when i was small; passed away early this morning.

let us all hope that rohnya ditempatkan di kalangan orang orang yg beriman. insyallah.

amin.

cars cars and more cars. =)

Caldina.

Fairlady!~


BMW 1 series.




Mitsubishi Lancer

i want, badly. haha

pd

pd is so... HOT. and how am i going to spend 3 months there i have NO idea. i seriously need a mp3 player now. like i HAVE to buy one. haha. anyway, the food there is cheap! we were all like kampung masuk bandar jakun kind of thing. hahahahaha. i hope i won't get fat there. we went swimming after that, tgh2 panas yes i know. and i have the loveliest time tanning my kaki. hahaha. anyway, sayang! i miss pergi pd with you. it feels weird! :(

btw b, u balik jom pergi pulau. :) jom jom jom! my treat (kalau i dah kerja la, haha)

haiya ma, kenape tutup mata? haha




do we look like sisters?!

:)

INSTRUCTION :
a) Bold the statements that are true to you.
b) Italicize the statements that you WISH are true.
c) Leave the fibs alone.

Then, stab 3 people to do the same test...

1) I miss somebody right now. ( u know who u are )
2) I do not watch tv these days.
3) I wear glasses or contact lenses.
4) I love to play video games.
5) I have tried marijuana.
6) I have been in a threesome. (never wei!)
7) I believe honesty is usually the best policy.(it depends actually.
8) I have changed mentally over the last year.
9) I curse. (dah kena marah dah pun)
10) I’m totally smart. (like super smart tak payah belajar kind of smart, haha can ar)
11) I’ve broken someone’s bones.
12) I’m paranoid sometimes. n
13) I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
14) I need money right now.
15) I love sushi.
16) I talk really, really fast.
17) I have long hair.
18) I have lost money in Las Vegas.
19) I have at least one sibling.
20) I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
21) I couldn’t survive without Caller ID.
22) I like the way I look. (im grateful with it)
23) I am usually pessimistic.
24) I have a lot of mood swings.
25) I have a hidden talent.
26) I’m always hyper.
27) I have a lot of friends.
28) I have pecked someone of the same sex.
29) I enjoy talking on the phone.
30) I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
31) I love to shop.
32) Enjoy window shopping.
33) I would rather shop than eat.
34) I don’t hate anyone.
35) I’m a pretty good dancer.
36) I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
37) I have a cell phone.
38) I believe in God.
39) I am an adrenaline junkie.
40) I watch MTV on a daily basis.
41) I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
42) I’ve rejected someone before.
43) I want to have children in the future.
44) I have changed a diaper before.
45) I’ve called the cops on a friend before.
46) I’m not allergic to anything.
47) I have a lot to learn.
48) I’m shy around members of the opposite sex.
49) I have made a move on a friends’ significant other or crush in the past.
50) I have tried alcohol before.
51) I own the South Park movie.
52) I would die for my best friend.
53) I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
54) I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
55) I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
56) Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
57) I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
58) I am happy at this moment!
59) I’m obsessed with girls/guys.
60) I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.
61) I study for tests most of the time.
62) I am comfortable with who I am right now.
63) I have more than just my ears pierced.
64) I walk barefoot wherever I can.
65) I have jumped off a bridge.
66) I love sea turtles.
67) I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
68) Plan on achieving a major goal & dream.
69) I’m proficient in a musical instrument.
70) I hate office jobs.
71) I love sci-fi movies.
72) I think water rules.
73) I went college out of state.
74) I like sausages.
75) I love kisses.
76) I fall for the worst people.
77) I adore bright colours.
78) I can’t live without black eyeliner.
79) I don’t know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
80) I usually like covers better than originals.
81) I can pick up things with my toes.
82) I can whistle.
83) I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake’s slither.
84) I have ridden/owned a horse.
85) I still have every journal I’ve written in.
86) I can’t stick to a diet.
87) I talk in my sleep.
88) I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
89) I have jazz in my blood.
90) Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
91) I wear a toe ring.
92) I can’t stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
93) I am a caffeine junkie.
94) I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
95) I have been to over 15 conventions.
96) I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.
97) I’m an artist.
98) I only clean my room when necessary.
99) I like a person of the same sex. (not only like, but love! haha, the best friends!)
100) I love being happy.

i tag whoever who has the free time to do this. and is so bored out of his/her wits. haha.

p/s i found out something oh-so-sweet from the boyfriend just now. heeeeee! even i didn't think of that! sayang! you're the sweeeeeetest!

morning ramblings.

sometimes i feel too tired, with everything. tired of studying. tired of having to do nothing. tired of doing exactly the same thing everyday, though basically its actually nothing much. tired being myself. but yeah. you get the idea. do you know how tiring it is to please other people? i'm just 22 for goodness sake! sometimes i just want to let down my hair and go wild. i don't know. maybe go clubbing, smoke and all. but at the end of the day, that whole scenario is just not me. i'm just a goody goody two shoes. the so called sweet little thing. yeah yeah. pretty boring.

i have a clear picture of what i wanted to do with my life. yeah. i guess sometimes being in a situation that i am few years back somehow helped.

i have a dream. i've always wanted to work offshore. yeah. but its no fun seriously. but i really really want to. pretty big dreams right? yeah i know. but unfortunately, mostly guys would be hired. yeah it sucks! but its not wrong to dream right? so i'll keep on dreaming. who knows. i might have a chance. :)

aren't you afraid of the future? you can plan so much, but everything is in God's hand. oh how i wish i could have things my way. would be lovely! but then it just wouldn't be right then would it? and believe me, i have plan so many things for next year; which also includes working in Dubai. haha. yeap. anything for the bucks. haha. mata duitan i am not. but for future investment. really!

i don't know what inspired me to write all these things. i'm just feeling a bit down. but i uess i gotta paint myself then. smile azalia! smile then everything will be alright. i hope.

// editted

so i found out about the big fuss. apparently the selected students will be interviewed for some sort of accreditation for the faculty. we have the iso thingy already. but apparently its something big, this new thing. hmm. and they're like counting on us to get the 5 years accreditation. hoho. the interview will be on next monday, which would coincide with my undang undang test ( yeah, i haven't got my license yet. hihi.) but i think i can make it. should call the guy tomorrow though. haiyamaaa. and yeaay! we're going to pd this saturday! looking forward to that. and no, not for holidays silly. to find a place for me, a room maybe. i don't know, for next year practical. another month to go! :)

didn't do much today. same ol same ol thing.

only that i went out with zia and faez at night. just to catch up with things. thank god they both finally have a place for internships. :) congrats babe! and not to forget, GOOD LUCK wan for your interview tomorrow!. make me proud! schlumberger tu. hihi.

random.
don't you feel annoyed with those people who can't write properly? like for example, tHiS kInD oF WrItInG. tak letih ke? oh my god la kan. i yg tengok pun letih. hehe. no offense to anyone who did this. but cute ke buat mcm tu? like seriously, i want to know. haha.

i'm not that fond of shortform. you know, as in kampung jadi kg. you know what i mean. but sometimes it annoys me that people use shortform in sms's and believe me, i'm not so much of a shortform kind of person and it really bugs me when i have to ask people to translate certain words. haha. yes i am that bad. fyi, i write mostly in full when i send messages to people.

anyway, am going to uitm this thursday. apparently one of the lecturers wanted to see a few of us about something, which again bugs me hence i have to go and find out what it is. haha. curiosity kills the cat so they say. guess i just have to wait till thursday then. :)

one more day to go. sigh. the time is so s l o w nowadays. tolong la cepat next year.

on long distance relationship.

HOW TO MAKE A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WORKS.

taken from: http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Long-Distance-Relationship-Work

1. Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line.

2. Communicate in some way every day - more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't have to be long, in-depth conversations (though those should occur sometimes). Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or webcams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand - you don't take communication for granted!

3. Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality - something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.

4. Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while on you're on the phone (sounds romantic, but how to stargaze? sian you sejuk nnt. haha). Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.

5. Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match - or someone else is a better match - your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.

6. Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.

7. Know when to say good-bye. While this is tough in any relationship, this can be especially hard over long distances. When communication becomes one-sided or sparse for too long and for no apparent reason, when arguments (yes, you'll have them) become too frequent, when the whole thing just seems like more trouble than it's worth, it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. Either you'll decide to go your separate ways, or you'll get closer for having overcome another obstacle to your happiness together.*

*TIPS*
1. A long distance relationship is no different from a proximal relationship in that they both require a great deal of work, excellent communication, patience, sacrifice and understanding. But you will have to work extra hard to maintain the communication and to stay focused enough to not let your daily life interfere with your desire to be with the other person. Don't forget them or you can forget the relationship and it will all be over.

2. One of the hardest parts of a long distance relationship is connecting when one person gets busier than the other. If this happens in a relationship it is important to maintain communication. If you are the busy person, try to warn your partner ahead of time that you will be working many hours and may have limited time. If you are the not-as-busy person, take advantage of the time by picking up a new hobby, getting in shape, reading a new book, etc. Flexibility is very important.

3. It helps to have a solid time in the future for when the long distance part of the relationship will end, no matter the time length. Without it, the relationship can begin to mold into something that is always distant - even with great communication. With it, each person can see the point at which the distance will end and work harder to keep emotions readily available.

4. When talking to your partner, take note of things they enjoy the most (hobbies, day-to-day activities, etc...) and do a little research on it so you have more to do when you see them next. For example: If your partner likes to dance, find the location of different clubs where you will see them next. If you don't know how to dance, take lessons and you will impress them by your willingness to make an effort on their behalf.

5. Buy a game that you can play together over the internet, such as an MMORPG (massively multi-player online role playing game). You will be able to chat while playing and it will give a greater feeling of togetherness.

6. Mail each other scented clothes.

7. Send each other spontaneous ecards.

8. Make a creative countdown (ie: photo calendar, a drawing for each day showing another thing you love about the person) and mail it to your partner to enjoy until you see each other next.

9. Do not set unreasonable expectations for your visit. Fantasizing about the visit is fine, but not outloud or by email to your partner. Instead, enjoy the excitement of the surprises to come.

10. Buy a webcam so you can chat face to face and see each other, so when you meet you will remember what they look like.

11.Consider the fact that living far apart gives you both a chance to grow as individuals. Some couples break up to "find themselves", but in a long distance relationship you both have enough space to do your own things and still have a connection.

THE DO'S AND DONT'S IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.

Do’s

1) Establish an effective communication channel
The very first thing that you must do in a long distance relationship is to establish an effective communication channel. Most people will think that telephone is the most convenient mode of communication but apart from the telephone services, there are some other alternative you can use. Instant messenger, emails, VOIP phone and conventional mails can be very effective if you know how to use them. Each of the communication channels has its own advantages and disadvantages and therefore you must start to explore each of them to enhance your communication experience.

2) Plan to meet each other
There is nothing more important than planning to meet each other again at an interval of time throughout the period of your long distance relationship. This will help both you and your partner to catch up with each other over the things that you cannot do while apart. The anticipation of seeing each other again will always give you the excitement, hope and as well as eliminating the lonely feeling in your LDR.

3) Build hobby that you can both share
By building and keeping a hobby, both of you will have something to discuss and work on throughout your distance relationship. Finding something to do online can be quite interesting judging from its speed and reach ability but never leave out conventional hobby as well because you do not need to have your partner’s physical present to share a hobby.

4) Surprise your partner
Occasionally surprise you partner with cards, gifts, letter and flower out of their expectation apart from your normal correspondence. Put your imagination to use and your partner will be sure to love your effort in keeping them happy. Sending the unexpected gifts to your partner will always spice up your distance relationship regardless how far your partner may be.

5) Capture and share that interesting moment
Throughout the period of your LDR, you can always capture some interesting moment of yours by exchanging photos, video clips and as well as audio recording. This will indirectly keep your partner informed on what has happen in your life despite the physical distance.

Don’ts

1) Settle for a temporary replacement
One of the mistakes that a distance relationship couple often make is to settle for a temporary replacement when their partner is not physical around. By letting a third party into your life, you will not only put your distance relationship to risk but you will also break the mutual trust and agreement that you make. Although it may not be done intentionally but this type of mistake will be very costly to your long distance relationship.

2) Take the relationship lightly
The absence of your partner does not give you the license to dictate and manipulate the relationship. You must remember that, your partner has their own right to participate in any decision making toward the well being of your relationship regardless where there are. A long distance relationship is also as important as a normal relationship and your partner has their own right to be treated fairly.

3) Wait and see attitude
Most of the failures in distance relationship that we observed are contributed by the wait and see attitude of the couples themselves. This was caused by the insecurity of the couple as they do not think that the LDR will work but at the same time they do not want to put a stop to the relationship. Let me tell you this, if you plan to have this kind of attitude, refrain from walking into one at the first place because both you and your partner will suffer in the relationship. In a LDR, both partners must be committed and proactive in bringing the relationship to a higher level.

4) Suspicion
There are no rooms for suspicion in a long distance relationship. In order for you to survive your distance relationship, you must learn to trust your partner whole heartedly. A single suspicion will break the bond you have for each other and it is a beginning of the end if you start to suspect your partner at any point of your LDR. Although it is easier said than done but trust me, if your partner is apt to do something unfaithful to you, they will still do it under your nose. Therefore there is no need for you to create such unnecessary stress in your LDR.

5) Succumb to negative comment on LDR
Couples in distance relationship always make a mistake by believing that LDR do not work. The negative impression you have in LDR will eventually hunt you down and destroy your relationship if you choose to listen to the negative comment. Therefore, once you have decided to enter into a long distance relationship, you must learn to believe that your relationship will work.

three.


:)

love you.

i miss.

:(

i am so TIRED.

went to the post office just now. why? secret again. haha.

crap. gotta go. have to masak nasi. =)

wanna know what i do everyday?

wake up.

turn on the laptop.

check emails, friendster, facebook and all.

download moooovieeees and series (supernatural only, please thank you). haha. like seriously. like right now, am downloading i know who killed me and also staardust! been trying to download the black dahlia since forever. but to no avail. sigh.

i'm not complaining! really! but i wish i have something to do. but right now, i am kinda busy. hehe. busy with what?

secret. will let you know after i'm done with it. :)

p/s something wrong with the keyboard, especially "w". stress! haha, but who to blame but me. bukak almost 24/7 kut. hihi.

interesting day today.
haha.
lets just say, i'll be looking forward to this every month. hoho. *wink*

talking with an alternate you.

http://www.alternateyou.blogspot.com

go on. read it. :)

read it once and i'm hooked! love it. i am no writer and i have no idea how to express how i love the story. haha. seriously go read it.

and i especially love this part: the refrigerator note that was given from wise guy to sugar.

how far is really far sayang?
60, 600 or 6000 miles?
how would we measure it?
is it by the winding rivers,
or by the stretches of land,
that stand wide between us?

i think far is when i can't hold your hands,
and it's when i can't hear your laugh;
far is when i can't enjoy your lovely smile,
and when i'm unable to look into your eyes.
that is how far really far is to me dearest;
and i don't wanna be far away from you.

and it made me think of the boyfie. :)

short ramblings.

+ one of my baby cousin was admitted to damansara specialist hospital yesterday. something got to do with his lung, asthma i think and he's only 2 years old.

+ i think i miss waking up early and going to shah alam. and i think i miss my best friends.

+ i have to start thinking of the things i need to bring to port dickson next january. too early you say? haha, at least i have something to do. blergh.

+ i need insurance. should get one when i start my practical.

+ i'm done with my 4 years course! yeaaaay!

+ i need to buy external hard disk to store all my fave series and movies. pronto!

+ i need to buy mp3 player. p/s pd is soo gonna be boring.

+ should i cut my hair or keep it long? hmmm. help needed! i like it short, but some would prefer it to be long. sigh. we'll see.

+ i wanna invest in something.

+ i wanna do my masters in UK. in environmental pls. :) insyallah.

+ i can't wait for my convo next year. i want floweers! and especially from u baby!

+ i hope the bf will be here when i grad though. *wishing really hard*

shah alam - midvalley - one utama

finally! i get to see stardust after so long! sigh. such a romantic and lovely fairytale story. my new fave movie. :) am downloading it now though. but its not so clear but sigh, i'll download another one soon. hahaha.

tiring day today.

and ooh b, i love u. *wink*

// updated: thank you FARIZ and kak emie for taking me to see stardust. hoho, next time ajak la lagi. byk cerita hantu coming soon. *peace* =)

some of the pictures.

the best friends :)

the group members with our supervisor.

with the classmates.

with my best friend and the partner in class. :)

hie

my name is ________.

and i'm addicted to sms. :() ---> confused person i am. haha.

got this from friendster:

ARIES - The Irresistible One
(3/21-4/19)
Nice Love is one of a kind.
Great listeners.
Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out.
Trustworthy.
Always happy. (i may look happy, but deep down its like a tornado)
Loud.
Talkative.
Outgoing.
VERY FORGIVING. (so true, i find it annoying sometimes. marah sekejap giler ok!)
Loves to make out. (hahahaha!)
Has a beautiful smile. (tipuuuu! my smile cacat)
Generous.
Strong. (this is true.)
THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.

LIBRA - The Partner for Life
(9/23-10/22)
Caring and kind.
Smart.
Center of attention.
High appeal.
Has the last word.
Good to find, hard to keep. (really b?)
Fun to be around.
Extremely weird but in a good way.
Good sense of humor!!!
Thoughtful.
Always gets what he or she wants.
Loves to joke.
Very popular.
Silly, fun and sweet.

morning ramblings

nowadays online boutique pops out like there's no tomorrow. haha. seriously!

i just woke up. and now is 4 in the morning. thought of online-ing with the boyfie, but i'm not sure where he is right now. he's online but not in front of the laptop. nak call takde credit. benci la. BENCI. at times, long distance relationship really really bugs me. especially when at times i feel so stressed up and the time i need him the most, but i have to consider the time difference and all. eeee! benci giler ok. but what to do. its his choice.

anyway, might be going out with the classmates tomorrow, for the last time that is. hopefully jadi. :)

to wait or not to wait to wait or not to wait to wait or not to wait to wait or not to wait.

its over.

finaaaally its over!

sigh. the last presentation. it went well i guess. we had the same panel as last semester BUT we have this external examiner from the industry and thank god he's so nice! everyone did well, there are some mistake here and there but its all good i guess. and i am so happy! right after that, we took pictures, and hugged everyone since this is the last time we're gonna see each other. not until next year that is. sigh. gonna miss them so so so much. especially noe and wan. best friends right? :) sayang korang k!

i can't believe it. the day that i've been waiting for so long and its finally here and i just can't believe that its true. i wish sayang is here with me now. :( everything seems so surreal. the next time we'll see each other, we'll lead another life. a new chapter in our life as a working person. a real engineer! gosh. mcm kelakar pun ada jugak. hehe. aaaa, rindu dah. how la like this? ramai orang nk rindu. :( hate this feeling. boyfriend jauh, best friend pun jauh. sigh. waaaaa!

anyways, good luck for practical everyone!

see you next year. sigh.

terrifying day tomorrow.

okaaaay.

tomorrow will be presenting our final year project in front of lecturers, REAL engineers and hmm, other people. shit! wish me luck people! i need all the luck in the world. hopefully i won't get out of the room crying. :( takutnyeeeeee!

ok bye.

am i right or am i wrong?

it sure is nice to be appreciated doesn't it? i just wish, for once i didn't have to ask him to do things that somehow makes me feel appreciated, if you'd know what i mean (you don't? hmm, nevermind). sigh. kenapa la guys have to be sooooo ignorant about all these things? why oh why? don't you see it means something to me? :( clearly you don't. but i love you anyhow.

// anyway, unrelated topic.

presentation is on monday. 11 pm.

zombie

its almost 230 in the morning now. and its raining. sejuk! :) had the lousiest day today. did nothing but to watch movies. been watching nightmare on elm street (haha, oldies sangat kan?). although its an old movie, but somehow macam takut jugak k tengok. can't help it. i love to watch scary/ horror/ ghost movies but takut. how la like that kan? that's why i love to watch that type of movie with the boyfie. hehe, kesian dia. and btw he hates ghost movie. he bans me from watching ghost movies in the cinema with him. haha, said that its not worth the money. sigh. but thank god i have a brother who is a sucker for all these supernatural being. the last movie i watch would be apartment 1303. and now, cerita hantu baru di cinema mcm mushroom tumbuh after hujan k. if im not mistaken, now there's this indonesian movie, kuntilanak2 and lantai 13. coming soon would be movies from korea, japan, and malaysia. orang minyak, made in malaysia. hihi. we'll see la kan. the only malay movie hantu i tengok in cinema would be pontianak harum sundal malam 1 and 2 and also jangan pandang belakang. :)

other than that, i do like comedies. like for example, chuck and larry. one of the funniest ever! anything with adam sandler definitely worth seeing. seriously. then there's something about mary, the one adam sandler with drew barrymore, click, water boy, big daddy. bla bla. you know what i mean kan? :)

hmm, ape pulak melalut smpi sini? haha. i'm still not sleepy. blame it on me for waking up at 3 in the evening (i slept at 7 mind u). tomorrow will be going to ampang, to wanchu's house. insyallah. if there is no plan whatsoever with my friends.

aaaaa, boringnya. sampai january k mcm ni. hmm. let's see. i have a list of people to belanja for next year. haha. and they are:

1. mama (of coz)
2. wanchu (for this greaaat oppurtunity)
3. chor (for pecahkan the kaca thing at your house)
4. the roomies (asiari jom!)
5. the bitch, aka raziyah.

and not to forget, of coz u sayang. :) tunggu u balik je. then anything u want k? haha.

p/s apa kaitannya zombie with this post pun i have no idea. haha.

stardust :)

heylo!

last paper today. how was it? it was ok i guess. :) now hoping that i would pass all the subjects. kalau dpt deans list lg bagus. insyallah. said goodbye to the roomies since i'll be staying home from now on. it was pretty sad. in a way la. sigh. i miss them already. to noe, ina and ana. sayang korang k! insyallah kalau jumpa next year asiari jom! and now wondering what should i do this hols. hmm, thought of working tho, but we'll see. :)

presentation will be on this 12/13th. sangat la nervous. since the allied supervisor will be there as well. sigh. wish me luck guys!

and sayang, thanks for calling td. i love you very the much. :) you call terus i dpt jawab my finals. hihi. what else ey. hmm, my left eye mcm sakit sikit. hmm. prolly coz i sleep with contacts td. but i was so tired! masa tgh check the answers pun i boleh terdozed off sebentar. see how sleepy i am? hehe.

think i wanna go see a movie la tomorrow. someone asked me to watch stardust. :)

matters of the heart.

hmm. we could never know how other people really feels about something. and that is one thing that everyone could never control. no matter how hard you try to figure it but you can never will. sometimes i found myself wondering if whatever i'm feeling right now is real. at certain point i sometimes would feel emotionless. as if i don't feel anything about that certain someone. but sometimes, crying makes me realize that the feeling i have inside is real. being further away from your loved ones really mengporak perandakan your mind. that's one thing for sure. the feelings would gone haywire. sometimes you feel secured, but tomorrow you might feel the opposite. and that's what i'm feeling now. i wonder if its normal for someone to feel or think like this? or is it i am the only one? i hope whatever i'm feeling now, all the unsecured feelings would just go away. i certainly don't need this feelings whatsoever. especially when i still have another paper and final year presentation around next week. sigh.

bad bad feelings, please go away. i don't need you. not now not ever.

tiring day. like seriously. its 0111 in the morning and i'm kinda sleepy. contemplating whether to sleep or to stay up. hmm. i don't think i'll see u online today right? which makes the purpose for me to come home today seems like *poof*. if you know what i mean. sigh.

anyways, thank god law and accounts was not too bad. saya mahu pass! the next paper will be on the 6th so i think i'll get back to shah alam prolly on sunday. since again, i dont think i'll see you online that much. hmm. a bit pissed though. yeah yeah. whatever la kan.

not in the mood. will blog later.

feeling super duper depressed. benci. i want my best friend. :(

sayang, if you're reading this. am gonna miss you so much for this one week. :( habis finals i cepat2 balik k so we can have our webcam session again and again and again. hehe.

finals is in another 2 days. shit la kan. takpe takpe. hopefully it'll be ok. insyallah. anyways to those having finals, GOOD LUCK! best of luck to all of you especially dear friends yg still stuck belajar and not working unlike some people. pfft. see you in another week. i'm off to shah alam yg boring itu.

// shit. i baru perasan. sayang, my birthday next year i'm stuck in port dickson la b! tidaaak. it falls on monday. aaaaaaaa. cheh, mcm boleh celebrate dgn u je. nvm, i think boleh belated for few months. haha. erk talking crap.

i love you syahir kasim!

i have the greatest boyfriend in the whole wide world!

thank you sayang.

i absolutely love it!

serious tak tipu punya.

yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! boleh boria. yeay yeay.

one month down.

i'm feeling stronger than ever know.

knowing that family and friends are always by my side. though no doubt i feel so lonely sometimes.

he's giving me all the pictures now. hee. thank you and sorry syg sbb selalu force you to resize and all. but its been a month already k. and i wanna see pics!

its been a month already. wowness! i know we have our ups and downs during this one month. and thank you for sticking through all of the shits i've put you through. haha. :) one month down, around 9 more months to go. shit. bapak lama k. but yeah, i'm adjusting.

i should be studying law now. but law is pretty boring you know, sigh. well, a student gotta do what a student gotta do right? =)

and sayang, buy me present for our anni next month pls. hahahahaha. man u jersey pun ok la. nnt boleh boria kan?

byeee!

after sleeping for 3 hours only.

don't you just hate being the emotional one?

i know i do.

sometimes.

ooh scratch that. most of the time.

sigh.

the day i love technology

all i can is that:

1. facebook rocks! you get to get married, divorce and all at the same day. too bad baby's not interested in getting one. bluek boo u syg!
2. friendster, erm getting boring. haha
3. thank god for technology! yeaaay loving the webcam and the microphone and all.
4. thank god for skype. free video calls, what more do u want?

weeeeee!~~

oh drats, hating the fact that i have to get back to shah alam for finals. sigh. no internet just pure studying. insyaallah. :)

i wanna go back to shah alam fast. sigh. being at home frustrates me more. seriously.
i should get a hobby. any ideas?
oh god. my life is so boring pls. i need some excitement.
hmm i think i wanna go jogging tomorrow. wanna come with? haha

ku mahu kau tahu

not bad for a local band. love it! for lyrics click here!

still missing the guy who said that dimples are due to kecacatan otot. hihi.

35 months

omg. i don't know what is wrong with blogger today. but it took ages for me to actually log in. sigh. anyway!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SAYANG!
one more month and we're....... 3!

:)

amazing ain't it?

24/11/04 - 24/10/07

wishing next year would come fast

this is so random and out of the blue.

anyway i have this weird habit of tahan-ing my breath secara tidak sedar until i make this one quiet sound. and i didn't even notice this habit until the boyfie told me. and every single time i unconsciously did that, the boyfie would do the same thing. haha. what's the point of this post u might ask? nothing, maybe because i miss the boyfie so much. haha. i love the fact how he noticed every little thing about me. and how he claimed that he knows my tactic of usya-ing other people when i'm with him. haha, comel je. pandai je buat assumption sendiri kan b?

so its been a month. time flies so fast ey? yeah. cepat la next year!

and syahir kasim! i rindu you!

is it wrong for me to feel what i'm feeling now?

if only he could understand what i'm going through. but the thing is, he doesn't.

i'm trying really really hard i swear i am.

but guess it is never good enough.

happy birthday sayaang!

HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY DEAREST SYAHIR!

love u honeykins.

not in the mood

hello.

so how was everyone's raya? i know i had the lousiest raya this year. sigh. no longer have the passion to beraya this year. am not sure why though. prolly cause i'm getting old and all. or prolly because of the fact that the for the first time, i celebrate raya without the boyfie. or the fact that i'll be having my finals and presentation after raya. all that together makes azalia so not in the mood for raya. hmm. anyways, i haven't started studying yet. sigh. 3 papers but all are killer papers. to me that is. will be having law and accounts and fuel and energy technology.

been missing him lots this past few days. dreamt about him on the first day of raya and i cried. haha. and we've been having our webcam session quite a few times already. thank god for fariz's webcam. if not, he can't see anything! haha.

should start studying la. i'm definitely worried, especially on law and accounts. but i'm toooo lazy sometimes. i can't study at home, definitely. too much temptation. but no one's in shah alam yet. decisions decisions. sigh. anyways, gtg. have a great day! i know i won't. :(

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN.

HAVE A GREAT CELEBRATION ALL!

HUGS AND KISSES,
azalia

long distance relationship = hard work.

i'm not too sure anymore. i really really despise and truly hate being in a long distance relationship.

tagged by kish.

tagged by kish! sorry it took so long. haha

Seven things to be done before my death.
1. get married
2. work offshore!
3. travel all around the world.
4. perform haji with mummy
5. go to every island in malaysia
6. bungee jumping
7. do my masters.

Seven things I will not do, even if it kills me.
1. allow polygamy. haha sorry baby
2. kill animals, esp cats
3. play with other ppls feeling
4. lupakan kwn kwn tercinta.
5. hurt my mom
6. ....
7. ....

Seven things I do when I'm away from the public.
1. online 24/7
2. download movies/series/songs
3. watch supernatural
4. day/nightdream
5. eat eat eat. (tat's why i'm this big. sigh)
6. sleep
7. play with my tummy. haha

Seven fave sentences/quotes/expressions
1. haa?
2. really?
3. whatever la kan
4. ek
5. ookaaay, interesting.
6. ok (not ok as in okay, but like really "ok" haha no idea how to spell it)
7. ....

Seven songs
1. look after you - the fray
2. oldies. love it!
3. warning sign - coldplay
4. follow you down - gin blossoms
5. anything by muse
6. bubbly - colbie caillat
7. no surprises - radiohead

Seven things I'll make you wish you didn't do if you did.
1. hurt my family
2. hurt the best friends and frens too
3. hurt the boyfie
4. hit and run. especially cats.
5. intentionally pissed me off just to make me hate u.
6. play with my feelings.
7. .....

its been a week since he left. and i'm still struggling with my final year project. and missing him every single day. but yeah, i guess its ok. we message each other every day. he called once in a while. anyways, good news! guess where will i be doing my practical next semester? any guess?

its... SHELL. haha. omg. i am so excited about it. so i'll be in port dickson around january to april. sigh. super duper excited. the supervisor called yesterday and apparently he's my senior in UiTM. so now am waiting for the HR department to send me some letters and what not. =) but the bad news is that, they will not provide any accommodation or transportation. hmm. so insyallah after raya, will be driving down to PD and check out the place and see if there's any residential area around there.

unrelated topic: i'm so sick of my final year project now. sigh. mata dah lebam. all because of staying up late to finish up everything. benci. and date for finals dah keluar. i'll be having my finals on the 31st of oct, 2nd and 6th of october. not bad la. and the presentation for the fyp will either be on the 12/13th of november. wish me luck guys! =)

first day: KO

he arrived safely in manchester around 8.30 (malaysian time) and now on his way to lancaster. alhamdulillah. its funny because he's so excited of seeing the sheeps and horses and all on his way there. i called him for a while. he sounds good. am now waiting for him to settle down at a friend's house first so that he could online or msg meof coz!

anyways, today was bad. i cried whenever i was alone. i guess i need someone with me. try to occupy myself with my work, but after a while, got a little frustrated and then friendster-ing and facebook-ing and all. sigh. what's worst; i'll be on hols for raya and finals around next week. 2 weeks of holiday. i hope things will get better soon.

gtg. kerja menimbun. i need motivation. and that's him. sigh. haha, no la. if he's around, now mesti tgh keluar melepak. =)

miss him so much.

bye

today.

tonight.

=(

maybe it was a blessing in disguise. just maybe. well in a way, i thank god for this opportunity. really am. =) can't wait for january next year!

p/s 1 day to go. =(

friday, 28th of september.

flight at 0015am.

after a while

its easy to say than to experience it yourself. some might say i'm a bit overreacting when after all, he will be there to further his studies. but you have NO idea. like seriously. sigh.
but yeah.

deep down, i wish him all the best.
deep down i know he'll do great there.
deep down, i know i can trust him.
deep down, i know our relationship can face anything. insyallah.

i wish my tear gland would stop doing its job for a while. its pathetic + annoying to cry whenever the thought of him passing through the terminal gate keeps lingering in my mind. and i cry EVERYWHERE. oh gosh. yeah, tell me about it. sigh.

and ooh, i'm so SORRY for all the latest posts are all about how pathetic i am. haha. oh gosh. i didn't mean to sound so pathetic and all. but you see, love kinda makes me do and feel stupid thing you know. soo..... haha. ok good nite.

8 more freaking days!

8 days oh my god la kan!

tonite we'll be bukak puasa-ing outside, with his friends since one of them will fly back on this 24th.

omg omg omg omg. i so don't want next saturday to come.

hmm, gotta get a new webcam. since the one i have now, is sorta very the pecah the pixel. but no budget! maybe i'll get to borrow fariz's. hahaha. omg omg omg.

omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg la kan.

i don't think i'm ready.

9 more days.

i don't know why, but i'm getting lazy more this semester. sigh. assignments are done at the last minute, tests and exams too; last minute revision. i skipped classes a lot. i hope they won't bar me from entering the examination hall. sigh. aiyo! what is wrong with me? i need to get the momentum back, i need it this semester. my last semester and i can't screw it.

wish me luck. finals in another month, with presentation for the final design project. which btw i HAVEN'T started yet. dammit la kan!

double triple sigh.

oh btw

12 more days.

anyways! just to make me sane when he's there. i MIGHT be going to UK next year. not to further though, but to visit him! yeay! looking forward to it. gotta berjimat now!

14 days!!

16 days to go. sigh.

dear god. please give me the strength to go through this.

3 more weeks. yup. he'll prolly be leaving the end of september. in a way, i'm glad that i still have time to celebrate puasa with him. to go to pasar ramadhan with him.

he bought me a ring tadi in one utama. and i said to him, i'm gonna pretend this is our engagement ring. hehe. something simple. and cheap too.

sigh.

time flies so fast. today is already the 2nd of september. in a few weeks, if everything is ok, he'll fl way from me. from time to time, every single time when i heard a sad song or any emotional song, there'll be tears. somehow i have to be tough, though its killing me inside.

............

yesterday his dad asked me whether i'm willing to let him fly, so automatically i said "i don't mind, its for our future". eceh! even though dlm hati i'm like don't you dare! sigh... pray that it'll work out fine.. pretty pls.

back in may, i did a list of movies to watch, just remembered it just now when i was reading the old posts. so have i seen all of the movies? let's see

1. the last mimzy --- nope!
   
2. shrek 3! ---- yup, but only DVD.
   
3. transformers! ----- yes! the best EVER!
   
4. alone (ghost) ------ nope, thanks to boyfie. hmph
   
5. harry porter and the order of phoenix ---- review said it was boring. so nope.
   
6. the simpsons ---- yes, but it was okay.
   
7. vacancy (thriller) ----- nope
   
8. dead silence (ghost/thriller) ----- nope, thanks to boyfie again.
   
9. spirit of the victim (ghost) ------ nope, again. thanks to boyfie. hmph

so the conclusion is that, if you wanna see any horror/ghost movie, go and watch it yourself. haha

he's leaving...

my worst nightmare has come true.

he's leaving me.

fyi, he got accepted to the university of lancaster in U.K. if everything is ok, visa and all, he should leave around another 2,3 weeks.

my first long distance.

i was skeptical about LDR. never believed in one.

but we've decided to go for it. like what he said "if we believe in each other then there shouldn't be any prob."

wish me luck...

if you were to choose one quality needed to maintain a relationship, what would it be?

its hard to choose, definitely. but i think trust. obviously without it everything will be kaput, kapish and fin. hehe, but seriously, if there's not trust then why bother?

i was chatting with my friend yesterday when he saw me personalized message on msn. he asked "tired, with what?". he thought i'm getting tired of the bf. and i'm like "noooooo. i mean i do get tired sometimes of him. but its normal to feel that way. i still love him very very much." seeing that statement coming out of my mouth somehow seems like a shocking news to him. he never thought that i could be this loyal to someone. we used to date in high school, but i ended it because he wants me to be more lovey dovey, which is so not me la kan dulu. to think again, the slightest mistake made would have me turn off. haha, bad bad person. but it's all different when i met him. (aaaawwwwwww!) yeah seriously!

the uniqueness of our relationship is because we tell each other everything. and i mean EVERYTHING. and i know though sometimes he's such a pain in the you know where, deep down i know i'm still his no 1 priority. its just that mengade je nk gadoh gadoh. hehe.

to be understanding is also a good quality. but not to an extent that instead of spending time with you w, you're spending time with the guys playing CS just coz you're going back tomorrow when before this the guys had 4 days with him. and the gf? 1/2 days + 1/2 days = 1 day. 1 day 4 days 1 day 4 days. pisses me off when i heard that. hmph.

and one thing, i hate it when i became so mellow and soft whenever we have a misunderstanding/fights. i hate it i hate it! girls. sigh...

and now, the purpose of this post is...... i have no idea! girls! sigh...

i knew that love was never a bed of roses. i knew that a long time ago.

i never knew how hard it is to maintain a relationship. mostly because the past relationship was never a big deal for me.

i'm tired.

someone's being an ass yesterday.

hmph

it's a sad day...

we sent the cats to spca today, both shiro and megat razin aka ajin. i was pretty sad, not so much on shiro but for ajin. while we're there, the brother and i saw this adorable, cute looking puppy!
check out the pics!

while waiting

bye ajin and shiro. will be missing you...

at their new cage

the cute puppy we saw!

and he/she know how to pose! adorable!

the brother said that most prolly the cats will be put to sleep immediately. cause they're old already. =( yeah pretty sad + bummed about it. they've been with us for around 4/5 years. and i will definitely miss bullying ajin. taking his picture. play with his fats.

shall miss you megat razin. will always always remember u as the most handsome cat; besides o.j that is.