Back in 2002, after the divorce, i seriously thought it didn't effect me much. I mean, it was bound to happen anyway.

Now, in 2012, few months before the wedding, i keep thinking about the divorce, wondering if i was really not affected by it, when slowly i'm beginning to see and realize that i am how i am now because of it.

It's really not easy but i guess i put on a happy and strong face all these while, no one bothered to ask me if i was feeling okay at that time so i guess i am okay. But now i don't think i am okay.

Maybe this is all so called dugaan during the engagement period but its definitely one of the hardest.

There are times when i feel i should return the ring, but then i remembered how he said that if i do, then there'll be no second chance. Then i hesitate mostly because i think i do still like him, just that sometimes i don't feel it in me. Complicated much isnt'it?

Words are just words and actions are just something i did to somehow prove to myself that this is what i want. But then again.... I still think about him.

Oh well.

Shit happens. Life goes on anyway.