all guys are jerks.

that's it. i officially hate guys. starting with him.

i can't stand it anymore. i'l losing him bit by bit. and its apparent now. i tried so hard to be independent i really do. but its hard. can u imagine, 2 years of being together. 2 years of 24/7 togetherness. i thought i was something to him. but apparently, i'm just someone he can rely on when his friends are not around. yes, i understand that i have 9 months to be with him while his friend, especially those in UK/US have only 3 months of being together. yes i get that. what i don't understand is that, do they have to spend 24/7 together? all i'm asking is a night together, just to watch the stupid dvd dammit. don't they have other life too? all i have is him.

its hurting me really bad now. i blurted out about break up, but he didn't hear it. i asked him whether if he needs some space. he said he doesn't need any. i asked him if i was merimaskan. and he said he would tell me if i am. but somehow i feel like i'm in the way of his friendship. i really do. and now, all i can do is to shut off both my hand phone. i cried while i was typing this. it just hurt so much. its not that i don't like his friend, i do but i just wish he could at least let me be his priority. like i did. he is my one priority. if he or my friend ask me out, i would definitely choose to go out with him. no matter if we've met yesterday or what. that's just me. a friend of mine asked, does syahir like my friend and i said yes. and i asked her why. she said its just that it's so difficult to see me, she thought that syahir didn't like them.

i'm not a hypocrite. i tend to show my emotions to everyone around me. so they pretty much know if i was mad at them or him. i couldn't do anything about that. its just my nature. but i'm just so disappointed with him.

my mom is right.

sigh

moms are always right kan.

please help me. what should i do?